記憶が私の頭の中に止まっている - Memory Stands Still in My Head

何も分からない、何も考えられない。

やっと私の気持ちはまだ同じだ。

その記憶が私の頭の中に止まっている。

私の記憶の中にその人達はまだ同じだ。
その夢も同じだ。
でも実は違う。
あの人達の道を選んだ｡
彼らの生活を決めた。
今はその夢は消えちゃった｡

何となく寂しくなった。
あの時はもっと楽しかった。
あの時、夢がたくさんあったから、本当に幸せな時だった｡
でも昔は昔だった。
戻れば、楽しかもしれないと思う。
傷つけることがあったら、ちゃんと早く元気出して｡
痛みがあったら、早く直して。
暗い時だったら、きっと光を見えることができると思う。
私はメイだから｡
迷っていた時、自分の星をすぐ見ることができる。自分の選んだ道と自分の運命も、きっと見つけた｡幸せになろう!

Stop a Minute like KEANE!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Some days, feel my soul has left my body
Feel I'm floating high above me
Like I'm looking down upon me
Start sinking, every time I get to thinking
It's easier to keep on moving
Never stop to let the truth in
Sometimes I feel like it's all been done
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one
Sometimes I wanna change everything I've ever done
I'm too tired to fight and yet too scared to run
And if I stop for a minute
I think about things I really don't wanna know
And I'm the first to admit it
↑
Sometimes I feel like a little lost child
Sometimes I feel like the chosen one
Sometimes I wanna shout out 'til everything goes quiet

Read more: Keane - Stop For A Minute Lyrics | MetroLyrics


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

These days Keane really makes me back, back to the world that i have to be,  Writing world!
Somehow keane lyric can describe what i wanna say, i just become speechless when i listened their music. Even they're hiatus now but music won't stop. This song describe me when i was scared, scared to stop and keep walking but i don't know which path i should choose. Somehow i don't know why i feel like i realize and understand about myself. I know that i always choose different from what i want. I always take the hardest way in my life. Some people might think that i'm crazy but i don't know why it just happened to me.
I always choose different from wat i thought..
This song describe my past when i felt the fears on my own. All the choices i made, all the things i took that time made me scared and it made me just wanna keep walking and wanna start running, i didn't wanna stop coz i was too scared.
I admit it. Sometimes i was scared too.
But i never regret anything in my life. For now, everything i've done make me wiser and tough than i was that day.
And now i realized that,even i was scared but the more i think about my past are, i'm brave coz i can decide what i wanna do. I can make decision for my life. Even i always take the hardest path but i believe i'm brave to face it. Even people thought that i got nothing but the didn't know anything. Let other people talk everything they want and think everything they want about you. But don't be affraid coz they know nothing. You can't push everyone to do as you want.
So i won't be affraid, i won't stop for a minute...
Coz i will stop at the right time and yelling i will stop for a minute not because i'm scared but i will give all of you my smile and happiness....🙌

I'm going where people know my name

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

I'm going back to a time when we owned this town
Down Powdermill lane and the Battle grounds
We were friends and lovers and clueless clowns

I didn't know I was finding out how I'd be torn from you
When we talked about things we were gonna do
We were wide-eyed dreamers and wiser too

We'd go down to the rides on east parade,
By the lights of the palace arcade
And watch night coming down on the Sovereign Light Café

I'm begging you for some sign, but you've still got nothing to say
Don't turn your back on me, don't walk away
I'm a better man now than I was that day.

Let's go down to the rides on east parade,
By the lights of the palace arcade
And watch night coming down on the Sovereign Light Café

Let's go down to the bandstand on the pier
Watch the drunks and the lovers appear
To take turns as the stars of the Sovereign Light Café

I wheel my bike off the train,
Up the North Trade Road.
And look for you on Marley Lane
In every building, in every street sign
Oh, why did we ever go
So far from home?

Well, you got nothing to hide, you can't change who you really are,
You can get a big house and a faster car
You can run away, boy, but you won't go far.

Let's go down to the rides on east parade,
By the lights of the palace arcade
And watch night coming down on the Sovereign Light Café

Let's go down to the bandstand on the pier
Watch the drunks and the lovers appear
To take turns as the stars of the Sovereign Light Café

Sha la la la la la la dee lay, yeah,
I'm going where the people know my name

Read more: Keane - Sovereign Light Cafe Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

Like this song so much, agree to say like in the end of the song, i'm going where people know my name... 
When you go to the place where people know you, know your name, it will be easier for you to show who you are, you got nothing to hide, to be as you,who you are...really you..
You might not able to change anything in your past, how great it was, how bad it was...but don't be dissappointed, you'll get what you really want soon...
Keep looking forward to make tomorrow better than today, to make what happened in your past as a good learning that you can take...
For now the best thing to do is going to the place that know your name...

イタズラなキス itazurana kiss love in tokyo

イタズラなキス Itazura na kiss Love Tokyo!!
Last year i watched many many times this series, once i watched it i've fallen for it.
And i've fallen for Honoka Miki and Furukawa Yuki.
Recently i also watched love in okinawa, it is the special episode for itazurana kiss love.in tokyo session 2,

　　∧_∧　　。。*
　 ( ・∀・)／＠＠*
　 / つ つ　*~
　Ｏ　 ノ
　(＿)_)


I'm so excited huaaaa can't wait any longerrrrrr.

急に気づいた、もう何回ぐらいこのドラマを見ていたの。
20回ぐらいかなあ。
とっても大好きだよっ！＼(¯＾¯)／ﾊﾞｯ！
Suddenly i realize,how many times i watched this drama?20 times maybe...
I really love this drama...

Can't help but falling in love with this dramaaaaaaaa
　　　　　_∧＿∧_
　　　　 ((∀｀/ 　)
　　　 /⌒　　 ／
　　 /(__ノ＼_ノ
　　(_ノ |||
バンザイ　ヤッターネ
　∧＿∧　∧＿∧
(( ・∀・ ))・∀・) )
`＼　　 ∧ 　　ノ
　/　　｜/　　｜
（＿ノ＿)_ノL＿)

Looking forward for this upcoming dramaaaaaaa

　　　　(⌒’⌒)
　 ハ,_,ハ＼／
,;゛ ´∀｀っ Happy
;;っ 　 ,ミ
u””゛”u/^l


　　 ∧＿∧
　◯(＾∀＾)◯
　 ＼　　　／
　_／ ＿＿ ＼_
（＿／　　＼＿)

They only can see your back "in fact that you're tough and brave"

The way you spend your time and be happy!
This is for me who like and enjoy my me time alone...
I spend my time for watching K & J series (korean & japanese),
sometimes read books and writing also. I prefer spending my time alone but sometimes i spend it with my friend or my sisters too, but some people might say it's kinda boring activity. Some said spending time to hang out , wasting money and time are the best for them. But everyone has their own choice. What they like and what they choose we can't blame it.

For me i feel become my self when i did the mention above activities. Cause i can express my feeling.
I've ever been trying to do what others like but it just become a burden.
Do what you like and be your self are the best things.
It's not a sin if you always wanna do everything best. Though some people might not like and accept it but don't blame yourself. Cause do the best won't make you regret. Having fun doesn't mean that you just waste your time and money and it will make you laugh happily. throw away those kinds of thought.
Having fun is doing what you like and make you comfort.
I live my life in my rule and my limit that's why i can be who i am today.
Don't ever say you are regretting many things behind. All your efforts, all your time and your past, you've done well.

Don't lose and get lost the track. That's make you different.
I thought to be a boring person sometimes is good.
Doesn't mean that you have a boring life but you know how to live your life in your way.
Don't be afraid to be alone, don't be afraid that you'll be disliked.
Don't be afraid not to be popular.
I've mention once that to be popular is your choice.
This way you can see people deeply.
Time will answers everything and i find mine...

Find your answer but just remember keep doing the right things,
Keep on the right track and do your best
Don't be afraid to be alone..cause everyone just can see your back,

It looks like you are alone and lonely but in fact that you are brave and tough...
they couldn't see that you are smiling and happy cause you know that you have to keep moving forward and what you have to achieve...

               

私が私、 i am me!

私は私、というと自分になりたい。
いつも頑張ってるからこそ、
やっと今その夢をかなえますように。
明日も必ずますます見えますように。

私は一千の友達を作りたい。

I will do my best , for sure..
So tomorrow i will not regret anything in my past
However the result is...

I am me...i don't wanna be anyone else
I wouldn't regret anything
I wouldn't regret what i've done
What i've been through either...

I will make thousand friends...
But it won't change me
I am who i want to be...who i supposed to
私が私

君は私のたからものだから Because you're my precious...

君は私のたからものだから
Because you're my precious...
You always be here
Beside me
Even you said you will leave me but you never do that

Because you are precious to me,
I just realized that you know me better than anyone else
You understand what i always wanted, you know that i'm different
and i don't like to act to be girlie
Even you are angry,
but you always stop when i'm start crying...
I know sometimes you're tired facing my childish side..
You said to be different with other girl will be okay for me
you always said that i'm a tough and hardworker
I'm a brave and independent girl,
Even some people saw and thought like i can do anything by my own,
even in their thoughts i am an independent girl who can go alone and never feel affraid of other things,
Dunno how but in front of you, feel like you know me more than anyone else, what im able to do and what i don't
You know me when i'm losing my mind,,you know when i'm feeling so betrayed...
Then i just realized, you always know about me..
Then i'm your precious person right?no need to answer..

君は私のたからものだから
君のこと信じたくて、守りたい。

Because you are also my precious person

このままでもいい

私にはその記憶がまだ心にあった。
どこでも、いつでも、誰とも、
いつも自分自身になりたい。
私はこのままでも、きっと幸せだ。
ただ、私にはその記憶が大切なことだ。

この世界には人々の大切なことって何?
考えれば、考えるほど、見つけたの?

人の気持ちはいつも変わったんじゃないの?
他の人より、私の考えと心はいつも同じ。
この世界に向うと夢をかなえるようにも。

私は自分の事と願いを守りたくて、信じたい。

Writing is The Best Medicine for Me!

For the time being...
For all that have been through...
For who you are instead of your dreams...
For me, for anyone else...
People would never understand for everything
People would never get the answers of everything
People would never know who they are gonna be
Once they pass it
Once they fail it
Once they broke it
Once they will realized
It can be called as experiences
People would never know anything before they experienced it
As who i am  today...
The more i tried to do my best the more i realize what  the most things that i really wanna do
Who i am inside...
What my passion and how is my vision...
What makes me happy and feel free...
What the best think to do to make me as myself and enjoy my world create everything i want...
Writing...
Writing is my world...
Thinking is my friend...
Imagining and dreaming for self healing...
Playing with the words...
Playing with your brain...
Playing with your heart...
Once i lost the feeling to write, then i lost my mood
Feel like writing is the best medicine for me...
Writing is the best creativity to express myself..express who i am
How honest i am, How sincere i write...
by writing we can see how the way we are thinking  and face all the things that matters.
Writing is the best medicine for me...
I like writing then i decide to continue writing in my blog, thus no one read it, won’t be matters for me..
As long as i have my note, as long as i have words...
As long as i can think...and as long as i have my dreams
I will embrace all the chances...
Because i feel more gratitude for all those things that i have...
it’s not easy to maintain these feeling...
It’s not easy to write everything...
It’s not easy to express what you think and what you feel...
But because writing is the best medicine for me
Feel no worries
Feel no affraid
Just feel free...Feel free to express my self
Feel free to write with my quality
_oRieNz_

Recall your memories

Recall those memories
Some said you’re not creative
Some said you didn’t have innitiative
Some said you’re just ordinary
What you possess only  your spirit
What they know about me?
They know nothing...
Recall those memories and you have to be remain the same...
The same as who you are before...
People might think that what they  think is right...
But they know nothing...
You are who you think but
what you think about who you are is the main important
People might think what they did is right but
they never know what another people have been through
You have to decide to be who you are, to be yourself...
But don’t get it wrong...
Don’t get it wrong... to be yourself is to be better person day by day...
People do mistake but don’t do it twice...
Recall your memories...recall your happiness...
Recall your passion...recall your dream...
To be as who you are before, big girl with big dreams...

People Might Forget You But Your Heart will Remind Them of Who You Are

I had reasons...

All the things that we have now...all the things that we had yesterday...

People might not realize what they have and  they had...

But me.. i do realize what i had yesterday and i’m not aware of what i have now...

My past time... all the memories, still belong to me...

And all i have now... people offer me they hand but all they get just my rejection...

because all i have just those memories...

But all those memories left me behind...they walk away...they live their life...

left me behind...

I had reasons...to tell my self to be stronger...

as i always said so many times, i have to live my life to the fullest...

I can’t go back and i won’t go back...

Because too many reasons, 

I should accept all those memories, keep it on my mind but i shouldn’t get back to those situations...

Because it wouldn’t be the same anymore...

What we have had and what we have experienced once, it wouldn’t be the same at the second time

just be yourself as always...people might forget you but your heart will remind them who you are

Letter for myself "The Most Dazzling Star is Mine"

Letter for  my self “The most dazzling star is mine”

Dear me,
I am writing this letter for motivating my self of who I am today, who i was yesterday and who i want to be in my future. i have been through many things in my past years and i realized most of them were bitter, then whatever happened to me in my past. i just wanna try my best to forget it and erase it. I shouldn’t become someone that i don’t wanna be. i just need to put my best effort for everything after i read this letter, because this letter reminds me of what happened to me in my past. if i become someone who have wealthy in my hand, i should assist my family to be stronger and forget revenge (for them who hate me most) --- revenge with my succeed. Succeed doesn’t mean that you have to be better than anyone but you can be yourself to do your best and know how to put yourself and do what you have to do.
if i can’t be “someone” --- i just need to put harder my effort to do my best. What happen to me right now is i just have to act right and what i have to do is just remember you should succeed but don’t forget you have to have heart and brain, heart to forgive anyone that hate you most brain to do your best in order to never regret anything in life –meirina–
============================================================================= “Stare to the sky and as you can see the stars, the most dazzling one is yours...
Put your true heart to see that stars. Because if you don’t, you won’t find it.
It means that in life, you have to do your best on everything so you can be succeed...
It means that you have to have an honest heart for doing anything so you can find direction on your life...
How hard you lost the way, you will always find way to be the stars --- the most dazzle ones. Because not everyone can find it.
How hard they look for it, they won’t find and they can’t become it. Because the most dazzling star is your heart. “
“The most dazzling star is mine”
-Orienz-

Get out from your box!!

Get out from the box and live life to the fullest.
Do something is always better than nothing.
When you choose to be someone who never go out from the box,
Never do something different,
always do the same rutinities..
get out from your comfort zone!
Live your life!
It doesn’t mean that you have to leave all the things that you have done.
It means that you have to try  to do something unusual that can make you feel more alive.
Look everything from the other side...
Take another challenges, grab another chances...
You don’t have to be popular but you have to be special one
Get out from the box and let them feel you...
Feel that you are special.
-OrienZ-

My inspirational Models part 1 (Mr. Yo)

Inspirational stories...
Just now i’ve got an idea to write some inspirational stories...
I don’t know much about them but they give me some inspirations, they give me good influence and it makes me want to be a better and better person.  I can take some learns from them, how they think and how they act. Yes for me they are role models and i wanna do my actions now, writing about them!
Mr. Yo, Vice President of one big company in Indonesia
I met Mr. Yo around 2011, first time Mr. Yo (that’s how i called him) called me and offered me to become his secretary on a project. At that time i said yes i’ll come and meet him, i never thought that he will hired me. He explained me about job descriptions and so on.  I just couldn’t believe that he trusted me to be his secretary even he didn’t know who i am exactly, he didn’t know whether i could work well or not. we’ve never met before and i didn’t know that he is a vice president of that big company for me it’s a big opportunity to learn and an honor for me...
At that time i was shocked because he choose me without hesitation, and i, suddenly i asked him an innocent question, “ don’t you give me tests, sir?” and he replied “No need, you could start work this monday”. Then i asked “Sir, will it be okay due to i don’t have any experiences and this is my first time on this field and this position?”. Then he replied “It doesn’t matter, you could learn, learning by doing". Oh My God, that was my first time feel being so blessed. Feel so thankful that i met Mr. Yo, because he taught me so well, he taught me not only to be a good employee but he taught me to comport oneself. He never act bossy, he taught me what to do and he listened about how we feel. If you wrong he will say wrong but he also give the solutions. If we right then he will say right. To be honest because that was my first time work in a project i was shocked, met so many kinds of people, many behaviours, many head so it must be many thoughts. It was difficult. I’ve cried, i’ve smiled, i’ve learned and i’ve disapponted, all feeling mixed up. But as i remember i also ever cried on the telephone and told how i feel because of unfair situation and then he said no need to worry, he got what i mean. So many experiences i’ve got even i just worked for him for only a year, but for me he is my role model. He is a wise person, and exactly know how to treat his employee, that’s called a true leader.
He also taught me that when you worked, you just have to 2 choices, opress or to be opressed, it doesn’t mean that you have to be a bad person. It means that you have to be strong. If you weak you’ll get opressed by other who act as a winner. He also taught me to be a reliable person. From the very beginning he already trusted me, so it makes me more confident and wanna do my best.  I want to be a reliable person. Mr. Yo taught me a life lesson, a lesson not only for facing work field but also a lesson to be a real person.

it is not a matter of chances, it is a matter of time!

This note was inspired by a book, i read a book about time, we are time waster if we don't do anything. The point i got from the book is time won't wait forever. Even we didn't do anything in ourlives we absolutely will getting older.

This is the note for you...

When you lost your  time, you lost your chances
Time won’t back and time won’t wait
How long should you wait? You have waited for this whole time
You have no more time, you have spent too much time to do the best
But keep lost by the time
You have no time to wait any longer...
Time won’t wait...
How much you’ve put your hard efforts
How much you’ve tried your best
Would it be necessary if you just wait for chances?

It’s already began
It is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of time...
You’ve waited until this time, you wouldn’t wait until forever
Keep doing the best but have no goals, no destination, no results
What for?!
Life is always up and down,
When you had chances to do what you want but have no time to wait, just have time to choose, everything wouldn’t be the same.
All your plans messed up, all your wish gone, your spirit fade away..
Messed up everything, keep doing mistake and forget your point...
Forget that no one is in charge of your life,
No one is in charge of you happiness, and no one is in charge of what you’re doing right now..
Except you!yourself!

You are the one who choose, you are the one who decided...
Don’t blame anyone and don’t blame your situation and condition...
It’s all your decision,
Just face it..
Knock your heart, open up your mind...
It’s already began...
It’s not a matter of chances but it’s a matter of time..
Don’t wait any longer...you have already here...
You have pass by everything and walk this far
Don’t wait any longer...
You have already here...
It’s not a matter of chances, because you have it now...
But this is a matter of time...
You have waited until this time,
Your choice to grab it as soon as you can or wait until forever..
It is a matter of time,
Don’t messed up everything because your chances is already came...

Are you friend or foe?: "My friends' heart i wanna protect it like it's mine"

"We couldn't know what people thoughts...
 We couldn't know people's heart...
 Sometimes we just guessing people without knowing the truth, without asking, without  thinking..."

my forever best friend and my forever wAnita!

Best Friends...

What actually it means?

For me the meaning of best friend is a TRUE GOOD FRIEND

As i know good friends are someone who always beside us...

Someone who always telling the truth, not justify everything but telling the truth

Good Friends wouldn't stabbed you behind your back...

Good Friends wouldn't discredit you but giving you wise advice..

still my wAnita

best!

wAnita look like a man

i miss my college time !!

I ever thought that good friend is someone who stays behind you to push you when you stop

and i ever thought that good friend is someone who stays in front of you to pull you when you're down...

But now my mind has already changed

Good friend is someone who will stay beside you....

To protect you from doing mistakes,

To support you when you're down 

To warn you when you're wrong 

give you advice for your own good...

To hold your hand and through the paths together...

a good friend is a friend who knows the limits and capacity as friend

That's called as TRUE BEST FRIEND in my mind...

Yes we're TEACHER!!even we taught at same school!wince,oba, me and kujeng, where's wawa?

wohooo !!! my best girls!!! kujeng, shera and oba

can we go back to this time?? my kujeng, my oba,me and my wince!!

Yes i had a moment here with my best friends!! wince and me

Thank you for the surprise b'day party!!!my kujeng and my oba

at wawa' house, we should take picture together why only me! :(

Foe? 

what's that mean?

for me the one that always wanna get close to us but only to take advantage from us, 

The one that only discredit us without any meaning

The one that couldn't get shut their mouth and annoyed us

The one that always act that they did everything for our sake

The one that always wanna get involved into our life

and the one that most happiest of our failure

that's called as a TRUE FOE for me! 

and i don't wanna get involved with such kinds of person

That's why i just wanna have positive minds and thoughts

I wouldn't be bother with such fake person because i know the reality

In this world we couldn't push people to act and think as we wish

we couldn't force people to be as we wish, because they have their own thoughts and their own believe!

me, Dinceu and wAnita !!!we met only for taking pictures :D

poor me i don't have lots pictures,,they're my friend from elementary school and since junior high school  until NOW and still friends!! 

That's why i didn't force others to be my friends, to be my best friends, and i wouldn't ask them to change their mind about me...i just will let it flows 

because i already have my own best friends...and i trust them...

even though i seldom meet and communicate with them but i know that they're always in the same place,

as my good friends 

we lives our own lives

we choose our own path

we decide our own decision

but we know that we have each other

as Good best friends...

we're just acting!!! me Deydes and wAnita!!!

still wAnita, Deydes and Me!! Night at College! :D

still 3 of us (what we did!!!)hahaha

did you scared of 3 of us 

*PS: I shed my tears when i put the pictures on this post because i miss that time so much and i miss them all! :)

"My friends' heart i wanna protect it like it's mine..."

Deydes, wAnita, abang and me

still us and Oba-chan at our basecamp!

*色んなことを守りたい *I want to protect many things*

_ORieNz_

Don't be ashamed of who you are! (You are what you think)

Once more I have to go through for a new phase on my life.

Yup!!! New Year 2014!!!

The way that life guides me is always up and down. But no matter how hard my life is, I just need to pass it, walk into it and handle it. Some people might see that my life is easy. The fact is I just make it easier for myself.

From the very beginning, I have to face lots of things. Some people said that I look like a jumping louse. But I can’t handle it. That was just happened in my life.

I was born in a little town, I've never been in overseas, my foreign language ability is not at advance level, I don’t use luxurious items and I’m not wealth and i'm not so smart. I choose to be the ordinary one.

I don’t want to pretend that I need to become as someone else because everyone want to see me like they want to do.  

For me, the definition of luxurious is not that we have to use branded items or high price items.

The definition of wealth is not how much money or anything we have...and 

The definition of intelligence is not only get good grades...

BUT Luxurious, wealth and intelligence are how we manage our life, how we acted and behaved, how we speak, what we choose and how we describe ourselves to others.

It’s not all imaging but the depiction of ourselves; it will show who we are. 

Because i thought that luxurious and intelligence can't be bought by wealth...

even though you are wealthy but your attitude is bad, even though you are smart but you don't know how to put yourself, it will be so useless and not worth it!

To be honest everything is back to our intention but if we give a bad impression to others since the very beginning, they will annoyed of us. 

And I don’t like people who spread negativity to other by what they thought and how they acted.

positive...we can learn from the smallest things, like how we appreciate other people...how we control our thoughts and mouth when we talk, how we manage our heart to have a big heart...it's not easy but at least we need to try.....that's what i think!

"Smart people are those who know their capacity and capability and put the right thing on the right place".

"The dangerous thing is smart people who smart ass, because they already know that they have a good brain then they treat people like trash, they thought that the only one who has good brain is their self..so they thought they are the most true person".

It’s me, just me and that's what i thought, every time I remember about those things above make me think harder. I've met so many kinds of people. I know many great people and i'm not ashamed of who i am

Because i always remember my daddy's quote:

 “You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, You shouldn't be ashamed of your ability because even you're just standard person like they thought, You can reach on them. So, the one that should be ashamed is “them (who are ignorant of you)”. 

BUT REMEMBER Keep Humble!!! 

-OrieNz-